all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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