Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize