I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
