I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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