I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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