I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
