Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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