Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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