Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
