You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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