best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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