so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
