did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
