The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
