That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
