im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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