I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
