Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
