I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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