This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
