Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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