u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
