I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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