I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
