dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
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