I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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