is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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