I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
