Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
