He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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