OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
My liver just had a heart attack.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
