I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
