to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
