I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
