This dress was meant to end up on your floor
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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