fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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