we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
