Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
