At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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