i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
