: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
