As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
