beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
