My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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