I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
