He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
