At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm both gender and math confused
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
