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she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
