It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
