perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
