You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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