I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
My cat gives me a boner
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Is Oprah even human
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
