My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I looked at my own cervix.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Farmville is her only friend.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
