idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
