I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
