I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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