Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize