Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
